Hail

I want to lash at you and pound into your body until you acknowledge me. You know I’m here, you need to at least tell me you feel me. I’m reaching out here. I know this is painful, but right now this is all I have.

I’m trying. I really am. I don’t want to hurt you anymore. Maybe I’ll leave. I don’t want to go, but I will if you want me gone. I do love you. I miss your warmth and brilliance. Let me stay here by your side for just a few more minutes.

I am not trying to force away your warmth. Can you not see me leaning into you, curling up next to you, reaching out to you, trying to pull you close? Please, bring your warmth closer.

There is hope for us, yet. I know you love me. I can see the desire in your form. Can we forget the past and move into the future, or has the flame faded? What do we have left?

Give me some hope. Just a little glimpse into your light. I am sorry for all the pain I’ve caused. I know I have caused you more pain than you have ever experienced before. All my hopes and dreams were tied up in you. You betrayed me as much as I betrayed you.

Your beauty and strength are reaching into my soul and giving me strength. The storm is over. All of the pain is gone in a flash. I know what we have will never be the same. This will leave scars. I like scars. I know it sounds strange, but scars are badges of honor. They aren’t ugly. Scars just mean you’ve been through something tough and came out the other end whole.

I’m whole now. All my holes are plugged up and I won’t leak all over the place now.

I miss you. Please, let me rest here and gather in your warmth.