Shadows

Marissa -Age 15
I can't take the shadows any more. They are everywhere. When I glance out of the corner of my eye I see them crowding around the edges and trying to force their way into my head. When I go to sleep they sit on my chest and when I wake up in the morning I discover I haven't been breathing. It's fine that they want to steal my air because I don't need to breathe anymore anyway. I don't need them to remind me what I have become.
I wanted to keep them out. I wanted them to stay in the corner and leave me alone, but they wouldn't behave. They never behave. I couldn't control them any more than they could control me. They invaded my dreams, my thoughts, my private moments.
It was fine when they resided in my dreams, but now the shadows have invaded my waking moments too. They tell me what to do, who to hurt, how to hurt them. At first I tried to ignore them. It was easy when they just whispered quietly in my ears and told me secrets and eased my pain.i could hide the scars and the marks with long sleeves and white make-up and long, dark hair. But now, now they are screaming in my face and keeping me up all night. There's only so much make-up I can use to cover the scars they leave behind when they visit me.
The shadows creep up on me when I think I am alone and whisper all sorts of nefarious plans into my soul. They are devious. More devious than even my twisted mind can imagine. Shadows hide in the darkness and scheme and plan and twist themselves wherever darkness reigns. Even God can't understand the twisted nature of the shadows. God is all light and power and strength. Shadows are the darkness and the hate and the weakness I try to hide away.
I was pretty once. Before the shadows took over. Pretty hair, pretty eyes, pretty smile. Now all I am is shadow.
I used to love the shadows. I could play hide-and-go-seek and the shadows would tuck me in And keep me safe from the seekers. But, they found me. They always found me. No matter how well I would hide myself away. The shadows that hid me soon began to hide the secrets.
There are too many secrets now. I can't keep them from coming back. They mark me as deeply as the scars on my arms and on my thighs. The scars are faded and I think I'm the only one who can see them anyway. Just like I'm the only one who can really see the shadows creeping towards me.
The shadows, they are everywhere now. In my room, in my head, in my heart. They are in you, too. I see them behind your eyes. They are laughing at me. I can't get the sound of them out of my head. Maybe I can get them out of yours.