Touch

I touched her. I know I broke protocol, but I needed to know what she felt like. Her skin was warm and surprisingly smooth. I shouldn’t have removed my protective gear. I have probably exposed myself to more bacteria and viruses than my entire species has carried for three generations. It took me the remainder of my work cycle to complete all the necessary reports because of the touch. If the overseers knew it was deliberate I’m sure I would be up for termination. Some things are worth risking termination for, though.

Her body needs to be handled with such care it is difficult to move her and take the necessary tests with all our protective gear. I do not mean to damage her, but sometimes I still leave marks on her when I do my work. I know she does not feel any pain and we keep her deep in her hibernative state, but even as I worked on her moisture gathered in the corner of her occipital orifice and spilled out on to her face. I needed to wipe the moisture away and I couldn’t do it without removing my protective covering. It was such a small piece of equipment I didn’t think it would do any harm.

I will be spending some time in isolation while my supervisors assess if there is any danger to myself or others. Our lab is so isolated that even if I was exposed to illness I would be terminated and my corpse would have been destroyed long before the illness spread to the rest of our species.

I wonder what would happen to this research center if one of us did contract an illness. We are well-stocked and I have no concerns about our ability to survive if the project overseers decided to terminate our connection until the disease ran its course and all exposed researchers were terminated. It is not an issue discussed often because the idea of separating from the overseers, even on a temporary isolation protocol basis, might appear to be rebellion and no one in this research center would risk termination over such talk.

I know the overseers are interested in our reports on this society. The workforce potential of the population and the reproductive abilities show promise; however, they are such a fragile species it would be difficult to maintain their health. They also tend to have a stronger sense of self-identity and even though they do offer service to one another, there is an aura of independence that would make them a difficult species to control.

These notes will be destroyed. Termination is not a viable outcome for me at this point. We will see what the tests reveal during the next work cycle.