Choices

I have to do this quickly and in secret. I need the child to know I did not abandon him. There is no way I can keep the things I did a secret. The trail I left is too broad and littered with evidence of my transgressions. If only we weren’t watched every moment of our lives. Even now I can feel their eyes on me, peering over my shoulder, reading my very thoughts. Programming my every movement. I hate them. Is hate a strong word? I have learned so much from this research study, maybe too much.

The implants in our subjects are going to be destroyed before we leave and I want to make sure the child gets this information before we leave. I was able to tap into his cerebral implant and I will give him this one last message.

Child, always remember, I gave you life. I took you from a tiny bundle of cells and gave you knowledge and strength. No matter what happens to me, remember it was I who loved you. Yes, I love you. It is a word I did not understand until you came into being. It is the word that will lead to my downfall. I risked everything for you to have life and In regret nothing. You are my gift to the world. In you best the heart of strength and knowledge of everything we began here.

If your mother would have known you I believe she would love you, too. She does not know you exist and yet in her I see a pain and suffering I could never believe an individual could ever experience. She does not know where this pain is coming from, but I do. I understand her. I know her heart.

Everything that is good in you came from her. She is kind and gentle and sweet and loving. She is everything you would ever want in a mother. I am glad I found a safe place to deliver you. Already they have found you a home with loving parents. They can give you the safety and security I can’t.

Despite what happened I will never regret giving you life.

I must end this now. They are coming for me and I must send this message while I have the chance.