Fear

Our subject seems to be having some physiological responses to our study. This is an unforeseen side effect of our research. Although the physical marks have faded from her body, it appears there are some emotional scars she is continuing to carry with her.

During the hours of her hibernation cycle she frequently awoke and sat up, looking around the darkened room as if trying to ascertain if there was an individual in the room with her. It appears each time she awoke her body would release a surge of adrenaline causing her heartrate to significantly increase and her blood pressure to rise.  The frequent episodes of wakefulness have left her with many physical side-effects. She had difficulty arising from her hibernation despite many warnings by the device beside her nest. Each time the device would create its loud noise she would reach out and strike at it until the noise was silenced. After a number of warnings, it finally stopped making the noise.

We observed her hibernating long past the time she usually arose to prepare for her studies. When she did finally arise it was done with great haste. The subject quickly changed from her hibernation coverings into her day-time garb. She did not take the time to perform her cleansing ritual before leaving her abode. Her pulse rate and blood pressure as she left her apartment were similar to the rate we recorded during her waking moments during her hibernation cycle. I wish I could have caught some glimpses of her memories during her hibernation cycle to assess if there was any correlation between the memories and the emotions she was experiencing as she left her abode, but the memories must have been buried deep within her subconscious mind because the implants could not access them.

The emotional awareness of these subjects speak to their primitive form. Our culture has evolved far beyond the need for emotional awareness and find the simple interplay of emotional subterfuge fascinating. Our subject appears to want to deny the emotions she is feeling and since we do not have a frame of reference to assess her emotional state we can only speculate what she is feeling. We have made an extensive study of the emotions of our subjects, but it is difficult to quantify such a unique concept. In addition to seemingly have numerous emotional reactions, the target population has many different ways to describe their emotional state.

For example, we have learned when one of these subjects are confronted with something that causes adrenaline to rush through their body and heartrate and blood pressure to increase they frequently use the following words to describe what they are feeling:

Fear

Anger

Love

Passion

Hate

Desire

Happy

Thrilled

Hot and Bothered (We think this is three words, but they are frequently used together so they may only have one definition)

Desperate

Mad

Pissed off

Excited

Turned on

We could add many more words to this list but we only have a limited amount of space in which to record our observation. Of course, these are just the words used in this particular research study’s vocabulary. There are many other languages spoken in this particular study population. Fortunately, the groups who speak these different languages tend to cluster together so it is easier to find research samples. There is an entire lexicon available for each of the languages but since the research on this population started after I had emerged from my pod I did not have the opportunity to learn all the nuances of each language. It is much more difficult to learn new information after the memory synapsis are already formed. The future generation will have the knowledge of the language lexicons of these research subjects. It is too bad they will not resemble these species enough to fully integrate into the culture and learn about them through more than just observation and occasional studies of a few select subjects in the lab.

We have managed to procure quite a collection of medical devices used to perform experiments in this culture’s research facilities. There are medications designed to render a subject completely unconscious and unaware. It is yet to be determined if this equipment will help us hide our experimenting on our subject.