Rebirth

It's time to get back to my stream of consciousness blogging.
Quite a while ago I was in the midst of telling a Hero's journey.
That thread is long buried, but I want to get back to telling that story.
Over the next few posts I will reblog the past writing.
Once I have done that I will continue with telling the story.
I hope you enjoy my musings.

Why I Write

I am a writer

I add black words to white pages

I form them into lines

Sometimes they make sense

Sometimes they make sense only to me

I am a writer

I have to write

I have to wrestle the demons out of my head and onto the paper

If I don't they will pound on the walls of my skull

Tearing and clawing 

until my head is cleaved open

And they spring forth fully formed

in gleaming gold armor

I am a writer

I write so the voices in my head

will stop buzzing in my ears 

and stay on the page where they belong

If they really belong there

Sometimes I don't know where they belong

But they don't belong in my head

I know

Because I am a writer

Are you a writer?

The Storm

The lightning strike and roll of thunder were so close as I walked into the house this afternoon I could smell the sizzle of the air and my teeth vibrated in my head.

I paused just to smell the crisp tang of ozone frying the air.

Perhaps I paused too long, but I never felt more alive.

Free Flowing Poetry

Rip the lid off this thing we call poetry and let the real feelings flow through. After all, it's not about the words written in black ink on white paper. It's about the red dots and water marks of tears inscribed beneath the lines. do we need rhyme scheme and rhythm and iambic pentameter to allow the feelings to drop from our lips on to the paper. or do we need the thoughts and feelings of our hearts left to scatter across the page and drop like so many tear stains to water the roses of our lies?

Daniel Washington

Unknown 1858- April 6 1883

Born in Missouri a slave died in Massachusetts free

Give praise to Him who dwells on the highest plain.

Give praise to Him who guides your feet in the path away from prison.

Give praise.

Give praise.

Oh, give praise.

He saved my soul from sin when my body and spirit were broken by the whip.

He gave strength to my feet despite the slashing of my heel.

He guided me under the stars.

The Dipper.

The Bear.

The Guide Star.

Until I could find my way on my own.

I could feel the comfort of His spirit as I followed the muddy waters of the river from house to house.

I heard the searchers and knew the path the baying dogs would take.

Once or twice I even saw the shadow forms of His protectors wiping all signs of my footsteps out of the dirt as I followed the trail to freedom.

Words buried in Hymns of praise guided me when I knew it was time to run or face death.

He opened my heart to love even my enemy.

He gave me the strength to work until I could earn enough to buy my wife and my children from their captors.

 My beautiful Maisy. My son, who was named for me. My daughter who had the face of the master but was still the flower of my heart. All saved by the sweat of my brow and the callouses on my hands.

I prepared the path for them as my God prepared the path for me.

Want

I want to stand at the wall and scream

Until everyone hears my words

I want to yell into the void

Until my voice echoes into the universe

I want to cry into the wind

Until the clouds give me back my tears

I want to run into the darkness

Until the light reflects off my soul

I want to pound on the door

Until my hands are as cracked and broken as the world

I want to claw away the cobwebs

Until the pain has faded away

I want

I want

I want

I want it to be gone

I need it all to begin again

As if it never was

Clean, fresh, new

It will never be the same

It is time to accept, learn and go on

There is no want

There is only need

Return to the musings

I have been away for far too long.
I enjoy my journeys into my own mind and miss sharing my thoughts with others.
I will be returning to my musings.
Hopefully it will be a daily thing. We will see.
I am changing the format of the blog.
I will still share threads of thought and occasionally those threads will become books.
Sometimes those threads will just be my musings put down on paper.

Tom Fallwell- This is Me

Retrospect
I look behind
To see where I came from
Introspect
I look inside
To see what I've become
Circumspect
I look around
To see just where I am
Without regret
I move ahead
And do just what I can
This is me
It's who I am
Life can't hold me down
This is me
It's what I do
When trouble comes around

This is Me-Lucinda Moebius

This is Me

July 9th, 2016 (This was written a few days after my husband’s second stroke)

This is me

This is who I am

I am white

I am a woman

I am wearing what makes me comfortable

I am old

I am flawed

I am weak

I am broken by life

This is me

My heart breaks because people have to argue about whose life matters more

And in the meantime more valuable lives are taken by hate and anger

I am in pain because I cannot understand, comprehend, empathize with those who suffer

Because this is me

My tears are at the surface

Closer than they have ever been before

This is me

I can't be beautiful

Because the pain of age and death has taken all I have to give

This is me

Happy New Year!

This month I am going to finish a couple of projects. I will make a goal of creating at least 6 30 Days threads in 2017.
I want to finish The - in between by the end of January
I will tackle The Hero's Journey in February.
We will see what happens next!

New thread

Obviously life got in the way again from the last 30 days.  (Which is ironic because the last thirty days were reflective upon life and death) however, I am moving forward into the next thirty days.
I have a novel I have been working on for about a year and I feel I need ot get it done. Since this is Nanowrimo I have decided to take this opportunity to complete this novel.
Instead of posting threads for 30 Days I will be posting my writing progress and updates to the work. I may even post my favorite line or two from my current WIP.
If I have time I will complete and publish the previous 30 Days thread this month as well. It's about 2/3rds done.