Fear

Our subject seems to be having some physiological responses to our study. This is an unforeseen side effect of our research. Although the physical marks have faded from her body, it appears there are some emotional scars she is continuing to carry with her.

During the hours of her hibernation cycle she frequently awoke and sat up, looking around the darkened room as if trying to ascertain if there was an individual in the room with her. It appears each time she awoke her body would release a surge of adrenaline causing her heartrate to significantly increase and her blood pressure to rise.  The frequent episodes of wakefulness have left her with many physical side-effects. She had difficulty arising from her hibernation despite many warnings by the device beside her nest. Each time the device would create its loud noise she would reach out and strike at it until the noise was silenced. After a number of warnings, it finally stopped making the noise.

We observed her hibernating long past the time she usually arose to prepare for her studies. When she did finally arise it was done with great haste. The subject quickly changed from her hibernation coverings into her day-time garb. She did not take the time to perform her cleansing ritual before leaving her abode. Her pulse rate and blood pressure as she left her apartment were similar to the rate we recorded during her waking moments during her hibernation cycle. I wish I could have caught some glimpses of her memories during her hibernation cycle to assess if there was any correlation between the memories and the emotions she was experiencing as she left her abode, but the memories must have been buried deep within her subconscious mind because the implants could not access them.

The emotional awareness of these subjects speak to their primitive form. Our culture has evolved far beyond the need for emotional awareness and find the simple interplay of emotional subterfuge fascinating. Our subject appears to want to deny the emotions she is feeling and since we do not have a frame of reference to assess her emotional state we can only speculate what she is feeling. We have made an extensive study of the emotions of our subjects, but it is difficult to quantify such a unique concept. In addition to seemingly have numerous emotional reactions, the target population has many different ways to describe their emotional state.

For example, we have learned when one of these subjects are confronted with something that causes adrenaline to rush through their body and heartrate and blood pressure to increase they frequently use the following words to describe what they are feeling:

Fear

Anger

Love

Passion

Hate

Desire

Happy

Thrilled

Hot and Bothered (We think this is three words, but they are frequently used together so they may only have one definition)

Desperate

Mad

Pissed off

Excited

Turned on

We could add many more words to this list but we only have a limited amount of space in which to record our observation. Of course, these are just the words used in this particular research study’s vocabulary. There are many other languages spoken in this particular study population. Fortunately, the groups who speak these different languages tend to cluster together so it is easier to find research samples. There is an entire lexicon available for each of the languages but since the research on this population started after I had emerged from my pod I did not have the opportunity to learn all the nuances of each language. It is much more difficult to learn new information after the memory synapsis are already formed. The future generation will have the knowledge of the language lexicons of these research subjects. It is too bad they will not resemble these species enough to fully integrate into the culture and learn about them through more than just observation and occasional studies of a few select subjects in the lab.

We have managed to procure quite a collection of medical devices used to perform experiments in this culture’s research facilities. There are medications designed to render a subject completely unconscious and unaware. It is yet to be determined if this equipment will help us hide our experimenting on our subject.

Drawing

Our subject has taken to drawing her dreams now. It is interesting because we had never seen any type of artistic ability in her before. The interest and abilities of our research subject seem to grow with the passage of time. Trying to understand this culture is almost beyond our comprehension. The idea of being able to choose your own method of contributing to your society is as foreign as trying to change the shape of your head. We are designed with a certain subset of skills and ability. Our genes are manipulated so we can fit into the slot society has deemed necessary and we emerge from our cocoon prepared to take our place and function as society has deemed is necessary.

Our subject’s latent artistic ability appears to have lain dormant for many years. It seems our initial studies and probes have stimulated areas of her brain and caused the talent to be thrust to the surface. At first she was rendering her sketches in a volume in which she utilized to write down important information from her courses, but now she has procured a volume specifically designed for the function of recording images sketched out by her own hand.

It is unfortunate we are only to study the artwork while she is working on it. She keeps the volume stored away when she is not working on it and we do not have access to her personal belongings we can only see the drawings through her implanted surveillance devices.

We are unable to ascertain the aesthetic level of the artwork since our culture’s understanding or what is beautiful is so vastly diverse from our subjects’ concepts. We cannot use the reactions of her peers as an assessment because she has not shared her artwork with any of them. She seems less than pleased with her endeavors and frequently covers her artwork with dark graphite.

I was fortunate enough to be reviewing the data recorded by her visual implant while she was working on her artwork before she entered her hibernation cycle. Much of her work consists of concentric images covering the page. It was difficult to find a pattern of images within the design. The only theme I could find was the image of optical orifices peering up from the page. At times the shapes of the orifices were reflections of her peers. There was some discussion about other images she created because the size and shape look more like the protective equipment we use during our research in the lab. It is obvious she is catching glimpses of the researchers as they are performing experiments. Trying to keep all trace of the research process from the subjects may be more difficult than we first anticipated. We must proceed with more caution as we move forward with our experiments.

Bathroom

I must say the rituals of the research subjects are extremely fascinating. It appears they find shame in the simplest things and yet they are willing to describe these ritualistic events in the most public forum possible. The elimination of waste, the act of procreation and the cleansing of the body are completely done behind closed doors, yet the ritualistic style of mating is done completely in public. Events where individuals meet and exchange pleasantries in an attempt to gain a basic understanding of their hopes and dreams and plans for the future are discussed in open forums wbere food and beverage is served and music designated to cause unfortunate gyrations of various parts of the anatomy are all done in public. If music caused my body to do what some of these creatures are doing I would make sure it was all taking place behind the sealed doors of my research lab.

Why any being would feel it was necessary to hide behind closed doors to take care of such physical needs as to eliminate waste makes me question the vitality of this species. We understand the need to keep contaminates away from others, but this obsessive need to find someplace private to do so seems unhealthy, to say the least.

Our embedded researchers have also seemed to have difficulty with the concept of the outer coverings our target study subjects insist are necessary to their existence. It seems the theory behind these coverings is the need to protect oneself from the elements and offer some form of protection against harm. Since we exist in a controlled environment the necessity for outer coverings is unnecessary. It was difficult for our researchers to adjust to the temperature fluctuations of the study environment. In addition to understanding the purpose of the outer coverings, our researchers struggled with comprehending the symbolism behind each element of the outer covering.

It has taken us much more time than it should to understand the symbolism behind the outer coverings of these subjects. In addition, it appears the symbolism frequently fluctuates with the mood and attempt of the subject to assimilate into another culture. This has led to many struggles with adapting to the environment. It has also led to the accidental provision of levity in the lab as we reviewed the tape of the attempt at our researchers to work their forms into the coverings. Perhaps we should not have shown researcher forty-seven struggling to remove a garment referred to as “spanks” in the dressing room of a local provider of such coverings on the main viewer of the research center. Although the embedded agent was attempting to create a shape more pleasing to the study population it seems the struggle to remove the covering seems to be less than worthy of the effort. The researcher did leave the establishment with the garment so there must be some value to the struggle.

Being Watched

Our subject’s behavior was completely out of character for her today. We have learned to anticipate her actions and have come to expect a certain routine as she works through her daily obligations. Although her schedule is not the same every day, she does tend to keep to a specific regimen. Today she decided to forgo attending one of her courses in favor of taking over the responsibilities of one of her coworkers. We are still trying to comprehend why he would forgo his duties in favor of taking what he termed “an Epic Road Trip”. Our culture does not allow us to shirk our duties in favor of travelling with companions. From the moment we emerge from our pods we are relegated to the duty we were created to perform. To shirk from our duty would mean the end of our usefulness and as a result our existence would be terminated. It seems this culture values leisure time more than it values the individuals function in society.

While the subject was performing her daily exercise routine she frequently stopped and studied the region surrounding her. Her companion questioned her behavior and the subject explained for the past few days she had been experiences the feeling of being watched. Her companion attempted to assuage her concerns, but from Beth’s behavior it appeared she remained unconvinced.

It seems we will need to warn our embedded researchers to be wary of our subject. It appears she has visited an establishment designated for providing defensive tools for those who might encounter danger as they progress through their daily routine. She has obtained some canisters or a pressurized substance that can cause some severe physical distress when released into the air near an individual’s head. Although our physiology is not exactly the same as the subjects we are studying the genetic material we used to develop our embedded researchers is close enough that if they are exposed to this element it could cause some extreme discomfort. I will put it into my notes that it appears Beth has obtained an element classified as “pepper spray” and will warn the researchers to be cautious.

It is important our subjects remain unaware of our presence, but it seems this species has developed senses beyond the five most common elements. In all of our studies the research has shown the subjects have developed the senses of sight, hearing, smell, touch and taste, but some species of developed other senses as well. There seems to be an underlying ability to sense proximity, location, and emotional acuity. There may be other hidden senses in these subjects, but we will need to observe them closely to ascertain what they may be. I must be very cautious in my observations of my subject so she does not sense my presence. 

Mark

The marks on our subject’s body are not fading as quickly as we expected. Perhaps our instruments are not designed to effectively gather samples from these creatures. We will need to visit their medical establishments and procure some of their equipment. They should be effective in gathering further samples. We will only need to use our equipment if we place more implants into her body.

It has been determined we will need to gather a larger research sample from our target population in order to garner the information we need. However, until we find a way to resolve the problem of leaving the physical evidence of our research behind we will need to limit our research to the currently chosen research sample. Perhaps using the target population’s own medical equipment will resolve many of the issues we are having with leaving marks on the physical body. Then our only issue would be figuring out how to completely erase the shadow of a memory we leave when we work on the research subjects in our lab. It’s too bad we cannot completely blend in with the population of the culture we are studying. Even the embedded researchers sometimes stand out in the form disguising their true selves.

There is a possible solution to increasing the target population study group, but it would involve gathering genetic samplings from the target population and creating a number of offspring to perform experiments upon. Although we have done this in the past with other cultures, this culture seems to value their genetic material as an extension of themselves and so unwittingly taking some undeveloped specimens to experiment upon might cross ethical boundaries. The committee will need to meet to decide if they are going to move forward with this plan.

I myself find the idea of growth and development in this species fascinating. I remember my own development as a time of safety and security as I formed in my pod, had my lessons broadcast through my informational portal into my core processing lobe and then finally emerging and taking my place as a researcher in this society.

To emerge as an underdeveloped, incomplete form from within the body of the female of these species and then being coddled, cared for and taught by those with greater skill and knowledge must be a frightening, yet exhilarating experience. The mark of the nurturer must be strong in this species since they choose to continue to repopulate themselves through these archaic methods. My own research has shown me our population used to procreate in this manner, although we have long since matured beyond this level of development. It makes me wonder what it would have been liked to be nurtured and taught and to be given a choice in my own destiny.

I must delete this note in my report. There is no room for personal musing in scientific studies. I must be careful not to leave a mark in my records.

The subject has finally entered her hibernation cycle. I will see what her memories bring with her tonight.

Ah, she has decided to listen to a soothing sound of a beach with the call of the wild, flying creatures to lull her into hibernation tonight. Interesting.

Second Abduction

It became necessary to retrieve our subject and bring her to the lab much sooner than we anticipated. The implant in her right cerebral cortex was malfunctioning and it was necessary to bring her into the lab to extract the device and replace it with a new one.

Typically, a defective device would not usually cause concern, but this device seemed to be causing our subject some pain. As a result, she was dosing herself with a number of low powered pain relievers. The pain was becoming severe enough she was considering returning to the medical facility and seeking assistance and requesting substances to relieve the excessive pain. Although our devices are not detectable by the crude instruments at use in this cultures medical facilities, the medications do tend to interfere with their function. We had just started to tap into some of our research subject’s higher cortex functions and we could not risk the contamination of the data. By removing the malfunctioning device we were able to relieve her headache.

We were able to complete the subterfuge by creating a diversion at the far end of the college campus by providing one of the establishments with copious amounts of the liquid refreshment so desired at the celebratory events so frequent at the educational establishment. We knew our subject’s suffering would prevent her from attending. Her abode companions did not concern themselves with her welfare and choose to attend the celebration, as we knew they would.

We were able to gain access to her abode and retrieve her from the nest she makes for herself during her hibernation cycle with relative ease. Of course one of our observers did allow the small creature to escape into the long narrow corridor outside of the main structure of the abode and had to spend a significant amount of time and effort retrieving the beast and returning it to the abode. Our subject appears to have an excessive attachment to the creature and we know if she lost it her grief might be as detrimental to the study as the debilitating effects of the pain relieving substances.

We were able to induce a deep hibernating state in our subject and replace the defective devices fairly quickly. We also recorded the marks on her body from our last encounter to assess possible methods of ensuring we did not leave this evidence behind again.

The return of the subject was much more successful than the retrieval. Our observers were able to ensure her creature remained in the abode as they returned the subject to her nest. Upon their return to the lab the observers expressed concern when thye realized we had been replaying the events of the escape of the creature and subsequent pursuit throughout the research facility.

We have returned our attention to the research subject and will continue our observations. The research subject does not seem to be suffering any ill effects from our minor procedure. She has been able to function throughout her day and has actually expressed regret to her companions for missing the celebration. She has also expressed the desire to visit the medical facility again to see if there is anything she could do to prevent this type of discomfort in the future. Perhaps this may be an excuse to experience the companionship of the care-giver at the center. We can hope this visit can provide us with more data on the mating ritual of this culture.

Memories

We were able to tap into our subject’s memory cortex and retrieve a small quantity of data. The memory core of the research subject is quite different than too what we are accustomed. The information we found had been subjected to much modification. Surprisingly, the modifications were done primarily by the subject herself. The information was stored in random order and our attempts to retrieve it in an orderly manner met with some initial confusion.

The informational retrieval needed to be accomplished during the subject’s hibernation cycle. It is necessary to perform this study during this time to avoid detection. We were able to use the implants placed within her mind to stimulate the memories and cause them to play out in her dreams. Since it was necessary to use the natural process these research subjects develop to process information it took some time to sort through the memories and separate fact from fiction. At this point we can only speculate what is imagined and what is real. It does appear she was attacked and bitten by a creature early in her childhood and it has caused an unreasonable development of a fear towards even the most diminutive of these creatures. Her fear does not extend to all four-legged creatures and she is frequently observed feeding and coddling a creature who appears to be more fur than anything and tends to make strange vibrating noises when satisfied.

We will need to continue to assess and categorize the memories we discover during the research subject’s hibernation cycle. Perhaps by cross-referencing the information we gather from the experienced we observe we will be able to determine the truth from the imagined.

Bruises

The marks on the test subject’s body are remarkable. We noted the raised skin and abrasions from our restraints during our lab tests, but we did not expect these odd marks to appear so long after our initial study. It appears the past studies of these subjects neglected to mention the fragile nature of the outer coverings. We will need to analyze our restraints and assess ways to improve the experience.

The subject complained of discomfort and displayed the marks to her peers. We were fortunate to be able to use the test subject’s subcutaneous implants in her ear and eye to observe her marks as she studied them in the reflective glass this culture seems so fond of using. Although most of the marks are barely distinguishable, there are a few dark, circular marks in her forearms and a mark about the size of one of her hands on her hip.

Her abode-mates encouraged her to receive help from one of her community medical establishment. Upon her arrival at the center she submitted to a number of tests similar to the ones we performed while she was in our lab. It was interesting to see her willingly submit to the studies we performed. If we would have known she was so pliant we would have just asked her to submit. Of course our lab looks significantly different from her cultures medical centers so we would need to spend a significant amount of time explaining everything to her and this would defeat the purpose of our observations.

We were able to easily obtain the results of the studies performed at the medical center. The record keeping of this population is surprising lax. The information is kept in data storage devices with codes easily deciphered even by the least intelligent of the researchers on my staff.

The notes taken by the staff at the medical facility are surprisingly thorough for such a primitive structure. In addition, we were able to find out some statistical data on the subject based on the measurement standards of the target population. Her height is listed as 5 feet 5 inches. Weight is 135, slightly high based on the standards of the culture, but her health is listed as over all good. From the actions of the young man who was taking her vital statistics it seemed she is considered highly attractive. When he left the room he surreptitiously looked at her address on the record. He does not appear to be a threat to her, more of what could be seen as a minor nuisance. It will be interesting to see this new mating ritual play out, if he chooses to pursue the subject.

Although the medical professional overseeing the subject expressed some initial concern over the marks on the subject’s body she was able to speculate on possible causes without causing undue concern to her. Most of the tests performed by the lab came back well within normal parameters for what was expected for this subject. Of course, the tests are severely limited compared to what is available at our facility, but it is enough to obtain a baseline for what is expected in one such as her.

Although the medical professional was unable to confirm any diagnoses explaining away the marks on the subject’s body she was able to correlate the memory loss the subject experienced with the timeline of the injuries. Explaining the subject probably experienced a fall or injury while intoxicated might have resulted in injury assuaged most of Beth’s concerns, even though she did not recall imbibing any alcohol or partaking any narcotics.

Since we have obtained the records from the medical establishment we will continue our studies and compare our findings with these. If our memory manipulation of this subject continue to hold we will be able to continue our study. We do not want to cause harm to come to her. She seems to be a very fragile specimen.

Returning

It seems we miscalculated the subjects state of hibernation when we returned her to her abode. Although it seems she does not recall the experiments we performed on her, Beth has reported a vague sense of unease and what she classified as “bad dreams” to the individuals who share her abode. These individuals assuaged her concerns by explaining there were a number of substances mixed in the atmosphere of her abode and they explained the dreams were probably a result of inhalation of the substances when she returned from the library.

It didn’t take much to convince the subject the events she described were the result of substance induced sleep. It is unfortunate she was exposed to the influences of the substances at this stage of the research since one of the reasons we chose this subject was she kept her body pure of false stimulants and depressants. Although her environment is frequently inundated by mind altering substances the subject rarely partakes.

We were able to observe the subject as she progressed through her day. Our concern for her state of mind grow as she traversed to each of her courses. She frequently demonstrated concern for her surroundings and continuously looked around as if expecting to find someone approaching stealthily behind her. It seems her experience in our lab has instilled a sense of paranoia in her mind and she has become uncomfortable in her environment. Our hope is that this feeling she has suddenly developed does not interfere with our ability to observe and record our findings.

The discomfort she felt during the day may severely impact our research. We will wait to assess the results from the samples we took before proceeding further in our studies. At this point we will continue our observations but we will wait to perform any more experiments until we assess the effects this round of tests had on her.

We do not intend any harm, but these subjects tend to be fragile in body, mind and spirit. It doesn’t take much to harm them and our entire study will be for naught if we have to start our search for another test subject. We will allow the test subject a complete hibernation cycle before continuing our observations. 

Initial Abduction

We had an opportunity to bring the subject into our lab and run a series of tests. It usually takes much more observation time before we find an opportunity to bring a subject into the lab, but the conditions were so favorable we had to take the chance.

The subject spent the greater part of the evening studying in the building commonly referred to as the library. She spent many hours using the inadequate equipment to research her companions’ activities. It seems an awkward mode of communication. Posting ones’ social activities on a website designed to limit in-person communication seems counterintuitive to the idea of being social.

Although the subject did spend a significant amount of time studying her peers’ social activities it appears she spend time working on what she termed “homework”. It seemed odd she was doing this work in the library even though the name deemed it as work required to be done at home.

The subject seemed to lack enough energy to return to her abode to sleep. Of course the companions who share her abode were having a celebration of some momentous event. Although we have been observing these subjects for a significant amount of time we still lack some basic understanding of the intricacies of all of reasons for celebration in this culture. This celebration seemed to be planned in order to celebrate an event termed “The Weekend”. It is an event frequently celebrated, particularly by the young. Although Beth, out subject, frequently participates in these celebrations it seems this particular event held no interest for her. Perhaps her lack of desire to attend is directly related to the altercation with the individual she had chosen as a potential mate. Our observations did not allow us to ascertain what the altercation was all about, but it seems the male is no longer interested             in pursuing the mating ritual. Of course, he may have been interested in furthering the ritual if there was any true pattern to the mating ritual, but it appears the attempt to mate varies from subject to subject. Even after the significant research performed on this culture we do not have a clear understanding of the mating rituals of these subjects. It seems life would be much simpler if we could introduce our method of mating to the population, but the rules of noninterference prevent us from providing the simple algorithm of assessing the mate on three areas of compatibility: temperament, intelligence and genetics. It has worked for us. My own mating has proven to be most satisfying, but as the researcher it is important to separate personal bias from data gathering.

When the subject’s exhaustion overwhelmed her she entered a deep hibernation state. The caretakers of the library did not notice her when they closed the building for the night and she was left unattended. We sent one of our observers to see her safely home. It crossed the edges of interference, but we did not want to lose our research subject so early in the investigation.

The subject was in such a deep state of hibernation our observer was able to transport her to the lab without any interference. She will wake of from the anesthetic in her apartment. There might be some residual confusion since the substances used on her causes amnesia, but we are counting on the typical confusion due to the odd hibernation schedule practiced by these creatures. We were able to take baseline samples and implant a tracker under her skin. This will make it possible to track her activities and hear her conversations. We did not dare implant an external tracker since these devices are easily detected and this culture has violently rejected any attempt to observe or track their personal life.

We have high hopes for this research subject and look forward to the opportunity to perform many more experiments on her.

The Encounter

April 1^st, 2016. The subject of this study is a young female, approximately 19 years of age by the target population calculations. Her full time occupation is listed as student but her employment is that of what is called a waitress. This profession is unheard of in our society. To allow oneself to be in servitude of another is a great honor and to ask for any kind of reward would be of the greatest insult. The female calls herself “Beth”. It is a shortened version of the name “Elizabeth” listed on the document giving the vital information dictated on the date of her birth.

We believe there is much to be learned from the observation of this subject. It is important the subject is unaware of our observations. There was a moment when we were almost detected in our observations. This subject’s hibernation cycle is frequently interrupted by physiological needs. During one of the subject’s frequent trips to the food preparation area of her abode she nearly spotted our observation recorder through the transparent openings in the outer structure. Fortunately, the technology was disguised to resemble one of the many toys the young ones frequently send into the sky. Perhaps she was concerned since the young ones tend to spend the majority of the hours of darkness within the structures of the familial units and the hour she awoke from her hibernation was during a time the young would not be playing.

 In her culture Beth is considered a fully mature specimen, yet there is much about her behavior that reveals she is not quite ready for the responsibility expected of the adults of this species. It appears she is intelligent. She is able to expend the necessary resources to provide the necessary life-sustaining substances required to sustain her body. Since this culture does not provide the basic necessities of life for their population it is necessary for individuals to obtain methods of barter for items such as food, shelter, protective outwear and entertainment.

The target population has developed a system where they exchange items such as disks made of common metals disguised as semi-precious metals and rectangular shapes of odd colored papers in exchange for these items. Sometimes they use items representing these barter pieces in the shape of a rectangular piece of plastic with a series of numbers printed upon it.

For the most part the research subject diet consists of foods found in the section of her school categorized as the cafeteria. This facility produces mass quantities of sustenance claiming to be of nutritional value. Upon further analysis of the products produced within this facility we have discovered that while the products may have some elements of nutrients within them, the food preparers have added a mass quantity of what is qualified as ‘additives’ to the sustenance. The additional qualities of the additives do little to contribute to the overall health of the body and, on a grander scale, tend to prove harmful to the overall health of the individual consuming it.

One of the most unhealthful substances provided to the subject is classified as ‘refined sugar’. Our study has shown this substance to be of the most addictive and harmful of the many elements produced by this subject’s culture. We are in the process of trying to discover the appeal of this substance to the research subject since the only effect we seem to be able to observe is the addition of mass to the individual’s body. It seems there is a moment of sensory gratification followed by a greatly increased energy output which is followed by a severe energy crash. It is puzzling for us to try to understand why this research subject would not only desire this outcome, but would choose to do this to itself.

Although we are attempting to understand the research subject by pure observation in its natural environment, there may be times when it will become necessary to bring the subject into the lab to perform experiments and take samples. Fortunately, other researchers have studied research samples from this population before so there is a precedence set for this subject. If we are careful we will be able to hide our presence from this population. We will have very little interaction with the research subject and have ways of deleting our presence from its conscious mind. We have high hopes this research will prove invaluable in our ability to someday find a way to safely interact with this species in the future.

Choosing this subject was not done lightly. We have sent many researchers into the general population to assess the population and to find subjects to provide a cross-population sampling. Beth represents many of the qualities we are seeking in a research subject. We hope this subject provides the answers we seek.